Ok, a little context. I have just recently left my job teaching at the school where I got my teaching career started at. I cannot say a bad thing about this school. It was a great place to start. Unfortunately that school was located an hour and fifteen minutes from my house (if the weather is nice). This would go on to be somewhat of a conflict when trying to find a balance between my work life and my home life. Now for five years I stayed there, each year better than the last, but something needed to give. My young family was growing up and at times it felt without me, and the solution of moving closer wasn't in the picture. This meant a decision needed to be made. Well family wins. Also I was suffering from the long drives (I'm getting old and my body hurts when I breath). This unfortunately led me to the decision to pack up my gear and leave. I wanted to wait out the year, but this way I could be home earlier and maybe begin to feel less encumbered with a sense of dread (kids have that power). Now what is it about taking destiny into your own hands? If you ask the universe something, it may just answer. Well a job opened up in my home town, one I was qualified for. I had been nervous that I was kissing my teaching career goodbye, but instead I was just starting it and maybe even reigniting it elsewhere. I don't know where this will lead, but it is nice having a change and finding my purpose, even if it is just the purpose I see for myself.
Aw man do I love cliches. I mean other than writing the word cliche, because I can never seem to get that little line thingy over the "e" when I type (I had to Google what it was. It's called an "acute"). But seriously new beginnings are great. They allow for a clean slate. They refocus the mind. They make sure that the decisions impacting your life are important, even if they're not right. I have had a new beginning. It started with me just needing a change. In my personal life as much as my professional one. I was feeling stale, boring, lacking in creativity and challenges. I was really just on the precipice of deciding do I go left or right, whatever metaphoric meaning those words could've had. Ok, a little context. I have just recently left my job teaching at the school where I got my teaching career started at. I cannot say a bad thing about this school. It was a great place to start. Unfortunately that school was located an hour and fifteen minutes from my house (if the weather is nice). This would go on to be somewhat of a conflict when trying to find a balance between my work life and my home life. Now for five years I stayed there, each year better than the last, but something needed to give. My young family was growing up and at times it felt without me, and the solution of moving closer wasn't in the picture. This meant a decision needed to be made. Well family wins. Also I was suffering from the long drives (I'm getting old and my body hurts when I breath). This unfortunately led me to the decision to pack up my gear and leave. I wanted to wait out the year, but this way I could be home earlier and maybe begin to feel less encumbered with a sense of dread (kids have that power). Now what is it about taking destiny into your own hands? If you ask the universe something, it may just answer. Well a job opened up in my home town, one I was qualified for. I had been nervous that I was kissing my teaching career goodbye, but instead I was just starting it and maybe even reigniting it elsewhere. I don't know where this will lead, but it is nice having a change and finding my purpose, even if it is just the purpose I see for myself.
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Today is a district PD day. I specify "district" in that I get the opportunity to mix and match with other teachers who I only normally get to chat with during these events. Like some others, I struggle each morning there's a PD day (professional development). Here's another day I lose teaching my students, marking my papers, etc. However each time I go I am blown away with the abilities of my fellow teachers, or even my own abilities. I have tools that I can share, or ideas on collaborations that I can now find a partner for. It's brilliant, and of course the exact reason why we have all of these opportunities, right? Just today I was able to meet up with another drama teacher and talk about student created plays, and will even be getting copies of scripts of his. I was with a group of English teachers, thematically organizing novels to create reading groups and lists of new and old books to increase interest and even allow for cross-curricular opportunities. For those non English teachers out there, this is a very fricken cool thing. Books already pre-approved by both teachers and students. That's Christmas for me. Finally I was part of a group where someone talked about a Poetry Smackdown (think March Madness, but with poetry). This is a great way to introduce poetry and create a competitive process in which students utilize a criteria, of their making, to eliminate poems that they don't like, and continually analyze poetry they do like #winning (does this still exist?). With that in mind I'm gonna link a youtube video for some spoken word poetry that we talked about and that I really enjoyed. Hope you do too. Another week, another Writing Wednesday. With tomorrow being International Women's Day I decided to use today as an excuse to bring women to the forefront of our writing. I'm always fascinated with what the youth today think. The writing prompt was "Women: Who is the greatest female role model in your life? Why is she so important to you? Write either a story about her or a journal entry" My response is below: International Women's Day.
I think it's great when we have special days throughout the year, like International hot dog day (July 18th) or International talk like a pirate day (September 19th), or of course my favourite International kiss a ginger day (January 12th). However there is one that always perplexes me. International Women's Day. Shouldn't we be recognizing and commemorating women all year long? I mean without women we wouldn't be here, like literally. Yet it's sad that we forget, or tend not to notice the accomplishments of women. I've never needed to fight for my right to vote. I've never needed to explain myself if I am single. There are no negative comments made towards me if I happen to have dated more than one female in my life. Fatherhood is a bonus, not a requirement. I am ambitious, not a bitch. I am determined, not bossy. I am passionate, not emotional. The words "don't you think those shorts are a little too revealing" will never be uttered while I play rugby. If you can't be smart you better be pretty, does not apply to me. These are just the first examples that come to the top of my head, and there are so many more. I have to thank the many strong females in my life who have opened my eyes to these facts. My mother who came from a very traditional society with strong gender roles. However she was the sporty one, playing on a national field hockey team. A sister who kept the bullies at bay and is paid to teach people how to be super heroes on stage and in film, but is also strong in her femininity. And a wife who is every bit my equal, and in many regards my superior. She plans the lives of my children, my legacy. What do I do? Work and give horsey rides. Fun and important, but not to the point of giving me a throne to look down on the lowly female peasants. I hope things change. Equality is not a bad thing. When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression. Let's change that thought.
Every Wednesday I do something called... wait for it "Writing Wednesday" (yup, obvious and alliterative). This week being Bully Awareness, and more specifically today being Pink Shirt Day, I thought it best to maybe use today's writing prompt as an opportunity to write more from the heart. Where I normally pick students to read their work, this time I allowed them to volunteer to share. I prefaced that their words could be the ones someone needed to hear, or that by writing it all down they could potentially find comfort in release. As with every week though I also wrote something down. This is what I said: I'm always surprised with the amount of surprise on people's faces when I say that I was bullied. I was the dopey, scrawny looking carrot top with glasses in school, and as such I had a rather large target on my back in regards to bullying. What was worse was that I also had a temper. It was easy for my buttons to be pushed and my fuse to be blown. The result, of course, being a rather large spectacle of pure immaturity and reaction. I was lucky though. I had friends. I wouldn't say a lot, but it was the quality of their character that mattered, and soon the opinions of others, if negative, drifted to the wayside. My temper lessened and the bullies lost their power over me. I was also lucky because I could get away from it. Sure I had to go to school where the bullies were, sure they knew where I lived and might follow me home, but that was it. There was a start and a finish line to my bullying. I was able to become more comfortable in my skin, and comfortable doing things that made me happy; like music, drama, sports, homework, reading, skipping class. I chose whose opinions mattered to me and I lived my life in a way that made me happy, cause the people who mattered to me also had me matter to them, and thus they didn't judge what I did. Today is a completely different thing though. You can't run and hide. You can't escape. Our lives revolve around a device that practically chains us to an avenue of abuse and bullying. Faceless bullying. To not be able to call out an accuser and tell them to stop, is difficult. When multiple users with names ever changing constantly berate you, it's tough to hold your head up high. For all we know it could be the same person with a lot of time on their hands, multiple accounts and too much anger in their heart. I can't stand up here as a teacher and talk about a singular moment I see, cause I see too much. I see moments that I can't decipher either, cause friendship brings friendly ribbing and teasing, and no one ever admits that they feel threatened and attacked. I’m also inundated with phrases like “snitches get stitches”, a social norm that protects bullies, because the moment someone talks, they become a pariah amongst their peers. How do you win? How do you survive? Well to them I say this, you are not alone, you never will be alone and to face it alone is something I hope you never feel you have to do. I am an ear if needed, a voice if wanted and a 6ft 4 towering Ginger in a unicorn shirt with a Wakizashi blade... if it goes that far. There was also a student who wrote some strong words down, about people not being the only bullies in our lives, but how situations can also feel like a bully. With their permission I took a picture of what they wrote. At the end of the day three of my English classes wrote on this subject. I was impressed with their maturity and how serious they took the topic. Sure the sharing was severely diminished as no one felt comfortable sharing on such a strong subject, but taking ownership of one's writing is a nice step to see in my classes. Of course by the end of the day I needed to lighten the mood, so I asked each student to connect with one of their classmates. They did this by either making eye contact with someone, giving them a high-five right up to hugs if they felt so inclined. It was weird and awkward, but the smiles on their faces were authentic. Good enough for me.
You can tell by just how great a Monday is after a week long holiday by the simple fact that I am writing this on a Tuesday. Nothing like a haze of zombie faces staring back at me; at that's just from my own mirror first thing in the morning. Why is it that Monday's have such a bad rep, and Monday's after a long holiday feel even harder? It comes down to energy usage. Students seem to be using so much of their energy not being at school and being on holiday (even though most say they just sleep, hmm) that they seem under powered when back in the classroom. On the flip side, most teachers seem to rejuvenate and come in ready and rearing to go. However all of that stored up energy gets siphoned off to students, the moment they walk through the door. Next thing you know, both students and teachers are just existing together, trying to make it to the end of the day. I don't know how to battle this phenomenon. But I will say that today, it seems to have fixed itself. I still feel energized by midday and my students are... well still not the most jubilant of individuals, but I swear I saw a smile from two when I made a Star Wars reference. An article I was asked to write promoting our upcoming school production
“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts” As You Like It Act II: Scene VII The entrances soon will be opening, once again, for Vauxhall Junior/Senior High School. The teenage drama, once only found in the hallways, are now finding a new home and focus within the creative confines of the stage. We are having a revival of sorts and some are unable to control their inner thespians, as they rush to the mirror to perfect their character impersonation of Meryl Streep, Kenneth Branagh, Dwayne Johnson? At the very least they are dusting off their old jazz hands. Theatre is back, and this drama teacher couldn’t be more excited. Yet, I am but one person and you need a whole community in order to succeed. Luckily the age old adage still exists; “If you build it, they will come”. A fresh coat of paint, the buttering up of certain shop teachers to help build basic set structures, and ladies and gentlemen you have yourself an acting space! At least on the outside that is what you’ll see. A utility space, set up in the traditional proscenium arch, with the purpose of rehearsing and performing theatrical pieces of work. The contents of plays can always be thought provoking; thematic pieces that delve into the human condition, or parodies of life for the sake of starting a humorous discussion, heck why not throw in a dancing pig for some straight up oddity theatre. But that is only focusing on the external and for anyone who has walked through the doors of a drama room, with an open mind and desire to explore creativity, they will tell you drama is so much more. When first approached to take on a drama option, my excitement was palpable. A chance to teach others a personal passion that is the reason most get into the teaching profession; holidays are the other right? Like any program, in order to inspire growth you need to start at the beginning, from day one. Limits cannot be tolerated, and obstacles are in place to be overcome. Enter the solution. If there is going to be a drama class, there needs to be a drama production; no question. A production that will group together the entire school community; Actors from all grades, involvement from multiple disciplines, inclusion of the community. Theatre is not meant to be isolated and secretive, but exposed and in your face. Why do you think we make the best Emcees, and are often, ever so slightly annoying? With all these pieces put together, you can finally see the heart of the matter. Drama class is needed. It does not take the place of any other need in a school, but compliments them. Every Student should have a place where they feel “at home”where they feel like themselves, even if they are acting like someone else. I know it is the place where I felt most comfortable when I was in High School; where I found my passion and my people. At VHS we have the opportunity to give a home to 17 budding thespians, and experience to many others who view theatre as a desire, but not a desire to perform. Our school production of I Hate Shakespeare by Steph Deferie, will give these actors a literal stage to show off their talents; to their family, friends, peers, even to themselves. And as a school creating that opportunity for each and every student is of an importance that cannot be measured. “The stage is not merely a meeting place for all the arts, but is also the return of art to life” - Oscar Wilde This was something I wrote after a class discussion with my grade 7's on how Remembrance Day and wars continue to impact our lives. My Child:
I look to you, to prove a future I saw. One of opportunity, riches, and by far, one in which you flourish and never need to fear, but I'm afraid an approaching danger is drawing ever so near, and it rears its ugly head and aims, not at me, for my time is past and no importance is seen. In the old and the weary, the life already lived The adventures and lessons, learned with nothing left to give. No, the blood red eyes are both focused on you, for it is the danger of your greatness, of what you just might do, that can defeat the darkness, conquer the night, rid us of evil and bring forth the light. Yet you are still small, and your strength is not known, so i will go forth, I will reap what I've sown, and no matter the cost I will happily pay, so that on my death bed I can proudly say. My child it is you who the torch must carry, to prove there is good, though the world still seems scary. You’re stronger than you think, stronger than you'll know, so with this final thought I'm not sad that I go. That awesome time in your life when you look back on your webpage and go... what the heck have I been doing to not have posted anything in forever. Well let's just see. I've graduated and become a full fledged teacher, albeit one without a full-time contract yet, but that's just a minor detail. I am a substitute teacher, and I gotta say a pretty good one. This has been perfect for me, because I have the time to continue learning from multiple sources. If I had just gone and gotten a contract right off the bat, well for one I would have been stressed to the max. Just graduating and teaching full-time, talk about a life changer. I also would have missed out on all of the much needed experiences that come along with being a substitute teacher. If you ever worry about your own classroom management skills, well go sub for a couple of days in a couple of different classrooms. Trust me, real quick will you perfect your own style, while also picking up a couple of different ways to try things, just in case. Also how great is it to get experience at everything, and I mean everything. I love being a drama and social studies teacher, but as a sub I have had the chance to teach Judo, foods, yoga, science, math, elementary, K & E, choir, french, the list goes on. I may not have had the chance to try my hand at these subjects if not for subbing. And I may not have as interesting a resume either.
Which brings me to my next little nugget. I have an interview tomorrow. With a principal. About a job. Ya I think I'll walk back into that grade 5 art class dealing with glitter paintings. This is a new level of stress for me. I've had interviews for jobs before, but not to this level. I will be analyzed and viewed as being worthy of continuing my career as a teacher in their school, or I will be given a severe blow to the ego, that might have me questioning why I ever wanted to become a teacher in the first place. Ok maybe the second outcome not so much, but still, it might not end pretty. I need to sell myself as a component individual, worthy of the task of teaching others. Great, that thought just sent a shiver down my spine. Luckily I know I can teach, and what's better is I know I can connect with students. Think back on the subbing I've been doing. Here I have a day, and in some cases an hour to make an impression on a class, because let's face it, the students are the ones who'll ask for you back, and if they do, you have a sub job for life. I've been able to become a recognizable face in multiple schools, without being a full-time teacher there, because I can connect with my classes, when I am their teacher. That's how I think about it as well. I am their teacher, even when I'm subbing, and my students are important to me. The problems at lunch are mine to cope with, the stresses of the day are placed on my shoulders. The fact that I won't see them on a day to day bases means very little. I saw them then and that is what matters. Hmmm did I mention I have a job interview tomorrow. I should work on that. Blogging what a nice release. Wish me luck. There are a few signs that can be taken when a blog has not been updated for a few weeks. One, that I have died in a horrible accident and a monument depicting my many good acts is being erected in my hometown at this very moment. However, clearly, with the presence of these keystrokes, that one is out. The more obvious one is that life has somehow gotten too busy to find even the slightest moment to sit down and write what has been happening in my world as a student teacher. I wish I could go on to say that it has all been "good work", that my future career is all coming together, but it looks a bit more like this. PSII's slogan should really be something along the lines of "We break you down, so life won't have to". I wasn't surprised at how much work would be involved, it was more that I was surprised at how bad I was at doing all of the work. Man, I sucked. I would compare it to the moment when Superman first comes in contact with Kryptonite. He's walking around thinking he's all super-manly and such, and then BAM, green rock kicks his butt, and he don't know why. Of course, I'm not saying I'm Superman, I don't look nearly as good in tights, but just that overconfidence that gets decimated with the addition of something so simple. So I closed myself off from the world and tried to learn how to become a productive and planned member of the teaching society. There have been some successes (I will have taught an entire fight choreography unit), and of course numerous failures (I said numerous so we'll wait for that list), but through it all there has been a support system to lean upon. The biggest being those who see the potential in me, and not letting me off the hook to achieve that potential. It's annoying, though, to not be able to just change my way of thinking and become better. Like, why is that so hard? I need to think a couple steps ahead, so let's think a couple steps ahead. However, knowing where I need to grow is something I can be proud of. I'm not ignorant to my weaknesses, I'm sad at having them, but they are obstacles I can overcome. And I will, it just won't be an immediate thing. Learn to walk before running and all that jazz. With only three more teaching days left I can look back and actually see growth. I have gotten better, and with experience I can keep getting better, I just might need to fight through a few tears (manly tears) in order to do so. And now it's time to sign off and get to that planning I was talking about. I look forward to giving the full rundown of my time in my second practicum, but that'll need to wait. I haven't thought of a catchy enough title yet. |
Keith Miller"I'm sure you've read something about me already, now for you to do some writing" Archives
February 2020
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